i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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