Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
