i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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