Duck Duck Cougar?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
