Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
