weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I touched a dick in church today
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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