just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
