You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
