I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
