I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
