He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
then he tried to convert me to islam
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
