sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
it hurts more in the daytime
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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