and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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