just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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