Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
its liver damage thursday
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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