i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
