I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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