This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
