Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
