I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize