dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
