Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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