dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
