dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
