i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
