the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
