I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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