apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
