please come you make the beer taste better
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
