Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
