When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
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