then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
