why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
