Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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