U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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