College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I love having hate sex.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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