Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
