addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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