wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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