Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
