I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
