It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
