Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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