I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize