im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
