Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
