Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
