I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
