i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
So vagazzling was a success
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
