god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i will never coherently bang her
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
