At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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