i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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