I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
