You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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