his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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