I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
