I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
MIDGETS
????
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
